when he stole words

Gaslighting is only one of the many tricks in the psychopath's bag of brainwashing magic. The quiet dissolution of the mind that occurs over time as a result of this sort of deception, is what i write about here. I was voiceless for so many years. Towards the end, I had nothing left to say, to anyone. I was, after all, unable to trust my own mind, and obviously could not even trust my own thoughts, let alone my own words. I had no idea how close he came to bringing about my extinction. You can read a little about gaslighting here: http://victimsofpsychopaths.wordpress.com/2009/01/27/gas-lighting-messin-with-your-mind/


when he stole words

when he took words from me and stole my voice
i had given up the notion of having any choice

my life became a muted scene
i lived each day in a nightmarish dream

when he stole my words from me

reaching down into my throat
he pulled them, one by one by force

and words lay in a puddle on my floor

i left them there, not knowing how to get them back
one day he simply swept them away, they tumbled into a dark crack

now that he is gone, i've pulled them out, washed them off,
i arrange them on a page. but some words, i've noticed, have gone missing.

i wonder did they blow away in the wind? never to be found again?
or are they broken in the dust, waiting for me to find them, to mend them with my hand

or perhaps they are smashed beyond repair, and i will have to live my life as such
never being able to say all that i feel, never able to say the words that can mean so much


--bruised orange